antimony (antimony) wrote,


Why do I have to be such a fuck-up?
Why do I make these dumb mistakes?

Grr. I used to be good at taking tests. Now I can't seem to read a simple question correctly. If I hadn't made the dumb error, I'd have gotten one of the best cores on the test, since I got a lot of partial credit on the hard problem nobody got right. Since I didn't manage to read the easiest problem right, though, I was below the mean. If I keep this up, I'm out of funding and therefore out of grad school.

I hate my stupid inability to concentrate. I hate the fact that I'm still recovering from burn-out but now I'm recovered enough to want to do well, but not enough to actually *do* well.

Damn it all. I want to hurt something. I wish I'd never been born. I hate this, and I hate myself.

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